Trigger Warning: This blog post contains mentions of mental health struggles, suicide, and December 18th, 2017. If this is a difficult topic for you, please feel free to pass this blog post. You have to take care of yourself first.
“You Did Well.” This is a playlist that I wanted to share for the longest time, but I never got around to it. Now that I am stuck at home for most of my days (if not all), and it’s Mental Health Awareness Month I am ready to share this playlist with you all. A fair warning, this is not a happy-go-lucky playlist, but rather a playlist that reaffirms your feelings. Remember to take care of yourselves Soju Fam.
It’s really hard to talk about mental health.
It’s really hard to be vulnerable and say “Hey, I’m struggling, and I need help.”
It’s really hard to need that validation that says “I’m proud of you. You’re doing so well.”
Although the talk about mental health has lifted in stigma quite a bit these past years, it is still hard to admit you need help. The mental health movement focuses on “preventing” mental health struggles. Not that that’s not important, but it leaves people who are needing help in the dust. Crying about your mental health struggles is seen as “attention-seeking.”
In December 2017, a celebrity’s death hit me harder than any other. SHINee’s Jonghyun had passed away. I was hurt and shaken by this not only because I was such a big fan of him – I could echo his struggles to myself. It was such a personal death to me even if I have never met him. I can remember my mom asking if I was a fan of his, while I mourned for weeks. I don’t even have a CD player, but I bought his final album. Throughout these weeks, my mom finally said something that really hit me – “you are sad because you know what it is like, right? Because you know how painful it is.”
She was absolutely right. I knew what it was like to be constantly tired, to continue working on a life that feels like that’s heading nowhere, to be in constant pain, to be constantly apologetic to the people around you.
All we want to hear is that we’re doing well. That we’re doing okay. That we’re alive.
I made the decision to stop my university studies in March of last year. I have been working on my undergraduate degree since September 2014. Due to mental health struggles I changed schools three times and dropped out of countless classes. If you ask my friends, I talk about these things quite casually. However, it is still a big burden for me because I feel like a failure. All my friends, people I went to highschool with, have already graduated and are working full-time jobs, functioning as an actual adult. However, I have learned not to compare myself to them because it is hard enough surviving. To live each day. To take care of myself. This is a playlist that helps get through my darkest of days, just because I feel like I am not alone and I can echo the struggles that the artists put in these songs.
“You’re doing okay.” A curated playlist. For those days you want validation.
“End of a Day” – Jonghyun
Favourite line: “You did well, you worked really hard.”
“Way Back Home” – BTOB
Favourite line: “Even if it’s hard, please don’t forget your dream.”
“It’s Okay” – BTOB
Favourite line: “Someone said when your dreams are getting far away, you should take a break.”
“Cheer Up” – Hong Jin Young
Favourite line: “They say there are a lot of painful days, but life is good.”
“Eat” – Zion. T
Favourite line: “Even if you’re tired, please don’t forget to eat breakfast and lunch. If you do, I will praise you.”
“Breathe” – Lee Hi
Favourite line: “Even if it gets hard to breathe, it’s okay.”
“When You Call” - Jung Daehyun
Favourite line: “Call me whenever you’re having a hard time.”
“I Am Me” - GOT7
Favourite line: “I can breathe, I won’t die.”
“Simple (feat. Def. & Mirror Boy) - ØFFSHORE
Favourite line: “Nothing is simple these days.”
“Zombie” - Day6
Favourite line: “Today goes by the same, am I the only one that’s struggling?”
If you’re having mental health struggles please call the Access & Assessment Centre at 604-675-3700 or 1 (800) 784-2433 to speak to someone. More resources can be found here.